Writing your first letter
By The NearestKin Team, Family support and prison communications
A first letter carries more weight than it should. People rewrite them, abandon them, and leave them in a drafts folder for weeks.
It helps to lower the bar deliberately. The job of a first letter is not to be good. It is to arrive.
A shape that works
If you want a structure to lean on, this one is hard to get wrong.
- Who you are and why you are writing — one or two lines, no preamble.
- Something ordinary and specific from your own week.
- One question, easy to answer, that does not require a long reply.
- A plain sentence saying you will write again.
How long it should be
Shorter than you think. Half a page is a real letter. A first letter that runs to four pages can be difficult to answer — it asks for a matching effort, and the person receiving it may not have the privacy, the time or the money to match it.
You can always write again. That is the advantage of a correspondence over a speech.
Who else reads it
Assume that what you send is read by someone other than the person you are writing to. Mail is inspected at most facilities, and phone calls are routinely recorded and monitored.
This is not a reason to be guarded or cold. It is a reason not to put anything in writing that would cause a problem if a third party read it — other people’s legal business, anything about an ongoing case, or details you would not want attached to their file.
What you do not have to give away
A letter sent through the post carries a return address. Some people are entirely comfortable with that; others are not, particularly when the relationship is new.
With NearestKin you write from your account and we deliver the message by phone, in your own words, when they next call in. Your home address never travels with it. Messages are free to send and to receive.
Step by step
Get the address format exactly right
Facilities reject mail addressed wrongly, and the rules differ between them. Check the facility's own mail page for the format, the DOC number and where it goes on the envelope before you write anything else.
Say why you are writing, in the first line
Not a grand statement — just who you are and that you were thinking of them. The person opening it should know within one sentence that this is good news.
Tell them something ordinary
The weather, the dog, a row about a fence. Ordinary news is proof that a life they still belong to is carrying on, and it is the thing people inside say they miss most.
Leave the door open
Say you will write again, and mean it. A first letter that promises a second is worth more than a long one that does not.
Check what you are allowed to enclose
Photos, stamps and printed pages are treated differently by different facilities, and a letter can be rejected whole for one disallowed item. When in doubt, send only the letter.
Common questions
- How do you start a letter to someone in prison?
- Say who you are and why you are writing in the first line or two, then move straight to something ordinary from your own week. Long introductions make the letter harder to write and harder to answer.
- How long should a first letter to an inmate be?
- Half a page is plenty. A very long first letter implicitly asks for a long reply, which the person receiving it may not have the time, privacy or money to write.
- Are letters sent to prisoners read by staff?
- At most facilities, yes — incoming mail is inspected, and phone calls are generally recorded and monitored. Write as though a third party will read it, without letting that make you cold.
Last reviewed .
The NearestKin Team · Family support and prison communications
We build the service families use to stay in touch with someone inside, and we write these guides from what people tell us they actually needed to know. Where something varies by state or by facility, we say so instead of guessing on your behalf.